Hopeful

Things seem to be moving forward so I seem to be a little less stressed. I called Kaiser to let them know that John and I are hoping to start the shot treatment within the next few weeks. Fortunately, John has been able to borrow money through his work- well it's against himself that we have to pay back each paycheck but it is a start. It is just enough to do just one round of treatment but we are trying to stay positive with all that. Gotta work towards one treatment at a time. Well, anyways when I was talking to Kaiser about starting treatments again they tell me that I have to do all my test over again since it has been over a year since we have done it. I am hoping it is just the blood work, I can handle that. It is the dye test- it is where they insert dye into be and watch it move throughout my girlie parts and through my fallopian tubes to see if there is any blockage or reasons why my eggs would not be able to come down like they should. The last time I took the test it showed that my left tube is blocked. I would like to see if that has changed but at the same time I paid over $200 to do this procedure and it hurt like hell. It was so painful and then the doctors made me twist and move my body to see if we can get the dye to get through. Well, that did not work and my uterus and ovaries hurt just thinking about it. John also has to do his testing too. His little guys have to get checked out and then blood work.
Another worry I have is the increase chances of multiples. It raises about 25% chance of twins. John and I have talked about it and we are fine with that idea. We actually like the idea of twins and the thought of bringing not one but two babies into this world. The only worry is what if it is more? I mean we can handle triplets. Its more of the fear factor that is with the babies. And any more than three and there is cancelling and is also a time to decide on terminating some of them. Wow that is heart breaking. You work so hard to make a successful pregnancy and then you have to go decide how many you don't want. It is such a scary thing to imagine. The only thing positive is that you would be doing it for the health and safety of the others. I know right now I have nothing to worry about and decisions will have to be made when and if the time comes. Just thought I should share some of my worries. Thanks for listening!!