Hey guys it has been a while...

Hey guys it has been a while... Well, first things first nothing has changed on the whole baby front. We are still thousands and thousands away from our goal to be able to do IVF. Though we are trying and not giving up- one way or another we will grow our family... Also, the pills that I was taking- Fertil Aid did not work. Not only did it not regulate my system it created even more havic to it. I was on a period for over 2 months! Not sure if it is my messed up system that was the cause or the pills but the ingredients in the pills were mainly the same ingerdiants as prenadals and I have taken them before so I really dont think they were the cause of it all. I started the week I left for my Florida trip in July and have had it since. I went to the doctors in mid sept for a lovely pap and to ask what to do about my abviously too long of a period. The doctor did not seem too worried about it but said that we need to get it under control. So fearing of what she was about to say she put my on a month of birth control pills- not something someone wants to hear when all she ever thinks about is getting pregnant. But I chalked it up and did not even cry. I figured better now then later on down the road when things could be a lot more serious. Out of the one month of pills it took a week and a half until my body stopped feeling nauseated from the medicine. I tried taking it in the evening hoping to sleep the feeling away and it still did no good. I woke up constintly feeling as if I was going to be sick, but my period had stopped so I wanted to continue knowing that was what my body needed to do. So, finally I start feeling better as a whole and then two days ago (still having 2 weeks left of this one month) I start cramping and bloating horribly. And then it came this sickning period from hell complete with cramping and clotting! I wouldnt feel so out of it if it was something I expected like when I was on my fertility medicine- you knew it was coming(if you wernt pregnant) this time though, it completly hit me off guard and hit me like a bag of bricks. I went to email my "girly" doctor to ask her whats going on but she is out of the office until later this week so I emailed my fertility doctor hoping she can help. I told her that I know my body is "special" but I need to know if I am ok. My pap came back fine and my uterus looked and felt fine at my last appointment so I dont know what is gong on. It would be different if I was at the end of the birth control pills but I am a little over half done and going crazy! All I want is something- anything to go right!!! There has to be good news out there somewhere. Im going nuts with all the negative feeling lately. I need/want good feelings, its just so hard to do when you get hit over and over...

Taking One Day at a Time

Hey everyone I hadn't written in awhile so I figured I should. Things here are the same for the most part. John and I have started our plan/budget to start saving the most amount we can without starving or going with no electricity. Hopefully this will be month one with the whole execution of our plan. It is going to take much longer than I would ever hoped it would but at least I feel that we are on the right track. On another note, John and I purchased Fertilaid and I have been taking it for 23 days now. So far I am pleased with the pills. There were people who were complaining about upset stomachs and not feeling good after taking them. I have learned through experience that with any kinda vitamins, you cannot take them on an empty stomach. Fertilaid is suppose to regulate your system which interns helps with cycles and also counts as a prenatal vitamin as well. I normally do not get periods due to my lack of ovulation but since taking it I have already had a period and I have a better way of tracking what is happening in my body. I am hoping to start my period again so I can have a timeline and something I can work with. The next step is hopefully ovulating and timing it all correctly. But for right this moment I am very happy that a period has even come. Now to wait and see hopefully in the next 3ish weeks it will come again. It is hard to say- my cycles are always long, even when taking fertility meds, they were a 35-45 dayish cycle. (the average is 28 days). But I will be keeping my fingers crossed, hoping to be able to start that savings account, and praying that this may work one day-in the not too far future. The hardest part is just taking one day at a time but I know one way or another our hopes and dreams will come true! Love y'all!

Feel Like Screaming... lol

Lol is because I am trying to stay positive throughout everything and for some reason reading lol makes me smile. I truley feel like screaming on the inside. I feel like we are never going to reach our goal and that there are too many objects and things that are blocking us from getting where we want to be. I know I have said this before but I do not understand why it has to be so hard. I dont want life to be easy- that would make it no fun but a little help would lift so much stress off my shoulders. I do not sleep at night like I use to. I cannot seem to turn my mind off making me exhausted throughout the day. My energy level is completly drained and I hate that. I wake up go to work come home eat dinner and go to "sleep" because I dont have the energy to do anything else. It is very frustrating to not have control of my emotions/body. I have talked to my fertiltiy doctor concerned about my PCOS and the effects it has been having. Honestly she didnt sound like there was too much that I can do. She said I can go to therapy and talk about these issues and that may help with stuff. Also, if I loose weight I should feel better as well. But I didnt get any help and support with dealing with my PCOS. She told me straight up that women with my serverity of my condition almost impossible to loose weight. So saying that how the hell am I suppose to do it. She recommended a few websites which I have have found helpful and told me to look into a product callled FertilAid. It looks interesting. Kinda pricy but no where near the price of fertility treatments. She said that everyone is different and that many women have found this helpful and were able to regualte the cycles but that was the same with clomid- works for most but not for me. I want to be positive about it and I am definitaly thinking about trying it It is at least worth a try. If it would help even a little bit then I think it will be worth it. Heres the website for it and the page about PCOS. ... Just wondering what your thoughts are...
http://www.fertilaid.com/pcos-infertility.html
Its not something that my dr can perscribe beacuse it is not something they work with but she has heard good things about it...