New Outlook on Possibilities

John and I have decided that we are going to look into adoption. We are not giving up on trying to find ways to afford and achieve an IVF cycle but we would love to be able to bring a little one into our loving home that really needs it. Researching adoption is very overwhelming and I cannot believe how expensive it is. There are so many children out there that need a loving home and it seems that there are many hoops that need to be jumped through to even be considered. The cost was shocking actually. It is going to cost more in adoption and adoption fees than it will cost do do IVF. I was talking to a good friend who adopted by doing an open adoption. I was not sure at first how I felt with that idea but the more John and I talk about it that's the way we want to do. Adoption costs so much because you're paying for someone to find a baby for you. Our friend found the birthmother through a friend through a friend through a sister in law. They had tried for a little one for years and with many complications that I have faced. One day she woke up worried about ever being a mommy and in a three week timespan her and her husband held a little newborn baby girl in their hands for the first time. What a beautiful experience. The birthmother was a young women who knew she wasn't ready to be a full time mommy yet. They contacted each other and the birthmother decided that having her baby taken care of by our family friend was the best thing for her baby.
We are going to try to do the same type of thing. We are going to be putting the word out, this being the introduction of how much we would love to adopt a baby that needs a stable loving family. We are asking our friends and family to pass the word around and if they know anyone or know anyone who knows anyone who is pregnant but is not ready to be a full time mommy. The only way our family friend was able to accomplish this was to put the word out and how important it is for everyone to repost, send to others and so on.
I was given an article from one of the parents that I work for about how this family who also had fertility issues made a facebook page and a bithmother found their page. Within days they all met and continued to do so. The birthmother was an older women who had a husband and two or three older children. They were not prepared to be parents of a newborn again. Before the pregnant women and her husband went to an adoption agency they found this family willing to help another family in need. In about 6 months this family was given the best gift in the world.
Things like this happen everyday so why not for John and I? We are going to also make a facebook page- I looked it up and there are alot of pages dedicated to adoption and open adoption. People looking to find their missing piece in life. I will also be adding another blog onto this one. So hopefully having these two means of media plus all our friends and family, we will eventually be able to find a women who needs our help. Please help us in doing it! Think about someone you know or that you have heard about who is in a position that they do not want to be. It is the only way this can work. Thanks everyone for taking the time to read and be apart of our experience.

HEARTBROKEN

I don't understand the beating John and I continue to get while hoping and praying for a baby. We have gone through another cycle with no luck. My eggs just wont work and grow correctly. I didn't write about in hope that not thinking day in and day out about it would help relieve some of the stress. Well I guess it didn't matter. This was our twelfth attempt through the fertility clinic. My doctor who I have come to know really well sat me down on Wednesday after saying that it was another failed attempt. She told me that we can continue and try again once we come up with the money and that she cant tell us we cant but in all her expertise and experience she believes that there is nothing more we can do besides IVF. My body is fighting against the treatments the last three times and she believes I will continue to do so. Thank GOD John was there with me at this appointment. I don't think I could of gotten out of there without him. He wasn't suppose to go and then last minute decided he better. My doctor gave us some brochures on Kaiser's IVF program and a Chase application for financial help. Ummm thanks but I don't see that happening. Between me making pocket change and with John out of a job for two years there is no way Chase will say sure lets give you guys some money. Of coarse we signed up anyways and prayed but again with no luck. If anyone wants to lend us their credit we would be in debt to you forever! lol. Kaiser's IVF program is very good and well known around the country. It ONLY costs $9,000 plus the cost of meds. If anyone one knows pricing on IVF that is a pretty good price. My doctor said she has no doubt that I would be able to get pregnant through IVF and that I am a perfect candidate. For a women my age I have about a 70-75% chance of a successful pregnancy. That is an outrageous number. Those kinds of statistics is what I need  but having money issues with it is heartbreaking. How is average Joe suppose to be able to do this?We don't know how or when but somehow... I guess the only thing we can possible do now is wait- I hate waiting, that's all I ever do. Waiting is the worst thing ever- not being able to do anything. I'm so beyond stressed out just thinking about it. Work has been so hard this week trying to emotionally keep everything together. Thank God it is Friday! Thanks for reading guys- Love you all.